


Unsent

by thebanglowhore (firemoth_007)



Category: B.A.P
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 10:43:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12341091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firemoth_007/pseuds/thebanglowhore
Summary: A collection of letters.Letters I wrote for me.One letter I didn't send to you.





	1. Jongup

**Author's Note:**

> ***based on actual letters I wrote myself about the boys I used to love or used to date

Dear Junhong,

You might need to read this a lot of times in the future. As of today, it has been four and a half years since you were over with Jongup. You did just fine. You have liked/loved different people but somehow in the future you are bound to think about him. You almost tried to get back with him once. And that was really stupid. Don’t be stupid.

Remember why you broke up? He cheated on you. Let me repeat that. HE CHEATED ON YOU.

This guy has a bad habit of falling inlove simultaneously with more than one person and not ending relationships first before jumping into the next one. Remember  A and B ? Self explanatory. You are not a push over like A who will accept all his shit regardless. You are a smart boy and you certainly deserve loyalty coz damn you are yourself loyal.

Why does he keep bothering you? He sees you as this boy in a pedestal that he'll never reach. Reality check? Yes you are that boy . And it should stay that way. Keep your distance. Don't even try to be just friends. That is a fucking bad idea. You will fall right back in. DON’T .

In the future you are bound to meet again. You will feel something. Some sort of missing the old times but I promise you it's just that.

Think of your high school graduation. How you fought for him even to your own parents and how you still regret it five years later. How you regret making plans with him that eventually fucked your life up coz you cant carry on with the plans yourself.

You were very young back then. I admit it was real love. Let's face it. You'll never get over it completely. But that doesn’t mean you have to entertain those fleeting feelings that you have successfully dodged for the past 4 years. But dude listen. There is someone better. I don't know if we have met him yet… but the point is … Jongup is not the one. Trust me on this one.

Love,  
Junhong


	2. Daehyung

Junhong,

 

Don't. Just don't. You were on the rebound and very vulnerable. He took advantage.

 

He is a genuinely nice person but his maturity level is not even half of yours. Not that you are even matured.. Which makes it worse.

 

Physically, just wtf? He does not qualify any of your requirements.  Why? BECAUSE YOU WERE ON THE FUCKING REBOUND. It was a momentary lapse of judgment.

 

He is messier than you for christ's sake. And god knows how messy you are.

 

You are not looking for a boyfriend remember? You want someone to be with for the rest of your life.

You wouldn’t want to live with that guy.

 

He is scared of kids. You want kids.

 

He is not the family guy you want.

 

As I have said, it was a momentary lapse of judgment.

 

-Junhong

 

 

 

 

  
  



	3. Himchan

Dear future confused Junhong,

 

Don't fall inlove with Himchan again. He said he's straight ok? You don't want to chase after a straight guy or even a bisexual. You wanna know why? Coz we don't wanna have to compete with a girl for a guy's attention. Or worse to be left for a girl.

 

What if he confessed that he's lying? Still. Don't!

 

He has lied to us more than once. Even if it was just for fun, we don’t like liars. Period.

 

Aside from that, the guy clearly has issues. He makes you feel appreciated once in a while, yes. But more often than not, you have to put up with his moods… or the lack thereof. He is a mannequin. Remember how fucking long it took us to figure him out. Up to this point I am not even sure if we did. If in the future you will, good for you… but only in an academic sense.

 

We have emotional needs. He can never satisfy it.

 

We have egotistical needs too. We need someone who appreciates us. Someone who thinks we are awesome and makes us feel good about our self. Sadly he is not that. He leaves us confused, feeling inadequate and stupid in a lot of different levels. He says he appreciates us but does otherwise. He is insensitive to a point.

 

You only want him for fanboyish reasons. Because you liked him before you became friends. For  three years…. Other than that, the statistics are nil. He only likes us because we put up with him no matter what. Because we support him and love him unconditionally. Because he feels obliged to be nice to us. And if ever one day he comes to realize that you are the one, chances are he realized that out of convenience. You are far to awesome for that. You deserve to be appreciated without even trying.

 

Stop trying too hard.

 

Love,

clearheaded Junhong.


	4. Yongguk

Junhong,

 

As far as I know, he only sees you as a good friend.

 

Honestly he is the perfect guy for you.

 

I can go on and enumerate the reasons why you will always like him but I think you will always know that and that will need another letter for itself.

 

But the point is, right now you are both on the rebound from someone else. Don’t rush things.

 

If someday he realizes you are the one, grab that moment. Never let go.

 

But as long as you are good friends, remain just that.  Until that fated day he sees you more than that, never confess on your own. You don't want to lose this friend. He is really precious.

 

 

Why I like him

 

  1. He is the ideal guy I drew in my head years ago.
  2. Doesn’t smoke.
  3. Doesn’t drink .
  4. Relatively innocent.
  5. Likes kids.
  6. Smart.
  7. We have much in common.
  8. Likes the music I like.
  9. Appreciates my talent genuinely.
  10. Gentleman. Polite.
  11. Humble.
  12. Makes me feel good about myself.
  13. I'm comfortable with him.
  14. We remain good friends no matter what shit happened.
  15. Thoughtful.
  16. Sensitive to other people's feelings
  17. Reliable.
  18. Honest.
  19. Believes in magic .



I should fucking stop thinking about Yongguk.

Fuck this shit.


	5. Believe it or not, Youngjae

Dear Junhong,

 

Honestly I don’t know what to tell you but good luck. This is one hell of a fucking I don’t know… .__.

Fuck this shit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

 

I like him. I don’t know if you will like him too. but right now I like him. And you do know that I say things that I usually regret later and this might just be one of them. But fuck this shit. It's your problem tomorrow. You'll just have to deal with the shit I will probably cause.

 

But truthfully I think he will be good to you. And good for you. We might even stop smoking for him. And stop going out with guys who we don’t really like but have the money to spare for a date.

 

Seriously, spending the two longest hours with another guy all the while wishing you were with him already ._. Bad sign. Really a bad sign.

 

Ok maybe it was a good sign. Maybe we were freaking out for nothing. Maybe you like him and he likes you and it's just as simple as that. Ok, you have issues. Maybe you are not ready for a relationship. Maybe, you are just scared that this will turn out …….

 

 

 

Dear Junhong of September,

 

LOL. He broke your heart big time. High five. You also passed out in a public place because of him. He is a rabbit pretending to be a duck. Don't forget to make him feel like a douchebagfaggotloserspawnofsatan that he is next time you see him, if ever you see him. Anyway, you just realized that you still love Yongguk and this is nothing but just another poor attempt to cover that up. LOL. But still, I give you all the privilege to hate Youngjae all you want. And you're right, I do regret it and I can't blame you for me having to deal with all this shit you've caused. Newsflash, you went right back to smoking and our love affair with marlboro proved to be stronger than this shit. You've stopped going out with losers willing to spend money on you but he's not the reason. It's Yongguk. Boo, you whore. 

 

 


	6. The Only Letter That Matters

Dear Yongguk,

In case you are reading this, I'm probably dead. That sucks. I never got to tell you that I loved you, and love you still as of writing this. But that's why I told you to open this in the first place anyway. I'll never forgive myself if I fail to let you know that you are the most beautiful person that I have ever met, and I do mean that. You are. You are wonderful and I hope that you realize that.

I told you, some years ago that I liked you and luckily after that disaster we became very good friends. I thought that I moved on, because what the heck, it was just a crush. Little did I know that it would evolve into something like this. it is something very beautiful, yet so sad. So wonderful yet it kills me inside.

As I have told you before, I believe that if you truly love someone, your main concern should be their happiness. That is why I chose to keep quiet about how I feel for you. I know that you are happy with our friendship and you value it as much as I do. I don’t want to be selfish and take that away from you just because of this frivolous thing called romantic love. Friendship is much much more important.

I pretty much gave you a rundown of what goes to who when I die so I wouldn’t repeat that here. This space is reserved for all those pent up feelings bubbling up but never pouring out. Even so, I could never really put into words how I actually feel right now.

I want you to be happy. I want you to be well. I want you to smile. I want you to experience real love, to love and to be loved in return, even if that person will never be me.

I want you to remember me as a strong person. I want you to remember me as the boy who never backed down. Do not for one second think that I suffered because of my feelings for you. Do not think that it was your fault to not have noticed all this time. I give you no blame. Do not think of me as another one in your trail of broken hearts. If you can't see past that, I would rather that you don't remember me at all.

Think of our good memories and know that I would always cherish them, wherever I go. Think of the not so good things we've been through. Laugh about it, and know that I laugh with you.

Forever love, Junhong


End file.
